So pretty please, with sugar on top, guard the fuckin’ mead hall.
- Young Beowulf, thirsty for mead,
Saw that Hrothgar & friends were in need.
So eschewing his sword
(And his hunky word-hoard)
He made Grendel explosively bleed. - Gren’s mother got somewhat annoyed,
And a high-ranking Dane she destroyed.
But the ’Wulf went Deep breath!
And kabobbed her to death
On a blade that he named BEO-FREUD. - Years later, the ’Wulf hit the deck
When some dragon bit down on his neck.
As he croaked, he yelled, “Crap!
“What the fuck is ‘mo-cap’?!”
His last words were: “I say!
“It’s a shame about Ray.”
And once dead on his shield,
He was Rogered and Neiled
And then ruined by Robert Zemeck.
