Classic headline in the Journal: I want my book back arrested man says.

The arrested man is the Englishman who recently strolls into the Folger Shakespeare Library in DC brandishing an allegedly stolen edition of the 385-year-old First Folio of Shakespeare’s works. The Folger people flip out and call the Feds, and shortly thereafter the guy is tracked down again and arrested in England. The Folio’s recovery makes international headlines last week, and a lot of hoist with his own petard quotations presumably fly as we all wonder what this guy was thinking.

So this week the guy has been talking to the British press, proclaiming his innocence, insisting his Folio is not the stolen edition, and confirming he’s a Grade-A fruit loop. I’m not sure whether it helps or hurts his case that the press photos (1, 2) show him posed hilariously beside a fluteful of bubbly (despite the apparently unopened champagne bottle), gripping a Magnum-sized unlit cigar in faux nonchalance, sporting a schmaltzy GQ smile that falls somewhere between H. Hefner and C. Kramer, and wearing a t-shirt that looks like either a bubble gum mishap or a bad acid trip.

Further details on his fruit-loopiness from the Daily Mail:

Neighbours describe Mr Scott as an eccentric who, it is claimed, is often seen emerging from his home in a silk dressing gown and wrap-around sunglasses to iron the seats of his yellow Ferrari before taking a bus to go shopping.

He said: ‘I was described as having a love of Armani suits. I have many fine suits but I am not fond of Armani.’

He also manages to make that acid trip t-shirt look comparatively handsome, next to his Bizarro Bono outfit shown in the slightly more lurid Mail story on him: ‘I’ve done nothing wrong’: The Shakespeare suspect and his Cuban cutie. Money quote:

‘The police are welcome to ask me anything, including my inside leg measurement, which for the record is 31-and-a-half inches, but I’ve not done anything wrong.’

Oh man. I like this guy. And a gift-wrapped Measure for Measure joke setup to boot. The question now is: What other Shakespeare quote to abuse?

• Two Gentlemen of Verona: “And yet she takes exceptions at your person.” “What, that my leg is too long?” “No, that it is too little.”
• Timon of Athens: “I doubt whether their legs be worth the sums that are given for ’em”
• Antony and Cleopatra: “I would I had thy inches”
• Twelfth Night: “Taste your legs, sir”
• Othello: “love’s quick pants”